GMAC Bowl 2005

Now that this one is in the books, here’s what I predicted.

Texas El-Paso vs. Toledo (-2.5)
Redemption Bowl I: Mike Price probably discovered that the strippers aren’t as good in Conference USA as they are in the SEC (oh, the brief sniff he had there), and he’s not going to see any better in Detroit. Toledo’s Tom Amstutz is in the running for fattest coach still alive, along with Maryland’s Ralph Friedgen and Kansas’ Mark Mangino. However, the big man knows how to coach big men, and Toledo’s offensive line will carry the day. They’ll cover a deuce and a half easy.

And here is how it played…

Yeah, I know now that I confused this with the Motor City Bowl. But, the point remains. They don’t get quality strippers in Alabama either. Why do you think Mike Price went all the way to Florida to piss the Crimson Tide job down his leg?

The build-up to this contest featured a lot of tout on two young quarterbacks; Toledo’s Bruce Gradkowski and UTEP’s Jordan Palmer, the younger brother of current Cincinnati Bengal signal caller and 2002 Heisman winner Carson Palmer.

Naturally, this game didn’t turn out to be the gunslinger, 49-45 affair we were being promised. The broadcast crew made mention of the 2001 GMAC Bowl at least three times in the first half, and it is hard to live up to the standards of a double overtime game that saw a total of 125 points being tallied.

We got half of that shootout. Gradkowski and the Toledo offense had the play-action stuff working, which led to a couple of big pass plays. This is always the proof that a squad has its stuff together, and it is what led them to an easy 45-13 victory.

Unfortunately, Palmer suffered a knee injury in the first half, and while he stayed in the game until mid-3rd quarter, he was never really able to get the proverbial rhythm established, and the Miner offenses’ fortunes followed.

More importantly, Toledo has to have the lamest, least inspired mascot ever. Nicknamed the Rockets, Toledo is cheered on by some jackass in a blue body suit that had to be inspired by the fashion sense of Mr. Spacely from The Jetsons.

Be careful, kid. Don’t let him find out you are secretly working for Mr. Cogswell.

Capped off with a full-face motorcycle helmet, this costume probably intended to represent some sort of spaceman motif, instead, it has the feel of drunken frat-boys piecing something together just in time to strike out at a campus Halloween party. Seriously, it’s so lame I’m surprised Jerry Lewis isn’t doing a telethon for it.